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Where We Are Now…

The holidays have been super hard on us, or maybe mostly me. I think they’ve been a good distraction for Clayton. After all, how could the holidays NOT be hard?? We should have been able to announce our second pregnancy on Thanksgiving. We should have had our first baby as a late Christmas present/New Years baby depending on the accuracy of the due date (December 30th — 2 days ago). That baby should have been in our arms by now.
Instead, here we are. Back at square one. Still trying to expand our family. Meanwhile, we’ve been seeing everyone’s baby announcements pour in by the handfuls from Thanksgiving through Christmas (which apparently is prime baby announcement time which also happens to fall at the worst possible time for us to be seeing all of those pop up). Trying to be happy for those through our pain is something that’s extremely hard to do and easier said than done… 

On November 30th we had our first appointment with the Reproduction Endocrinology & Infertility Specialist. He said that there were 3 things that he thinks the problem could be.

1. Uterus Shape

2. Hormones (in my case most likely a blood clotting issue)

3. Genetics

We were only able to look into the first while we were there that day. We did an ultrasound to look at my uterus to see if things were normal there, and they were. So while that may seem good, it didn’t help us find our problem. It also would have been the easiest, quickest, and cheapest fix of the 3…

The hormone one he said would be a problem with my blood clotting. He said the moms veins run to the baby and intertwine with the babies and are basically their lifeline. Some women have a problem where their blood clots in those connecting veins so it cuts off everything that should be passing to baby. He said if that’s the case then they would just have to put me on blood thinners while I was pregnant. 

If the issue is with Clayton or I genetics wise, he said that would mean that when our chromosomes split to create a baby, ours are just splitting unevenly every time. Some people have this happen once, which can lead to a Down Syndrome baby or any of the other chromosome abnormalities. But most people don’t have it happen every single time their chromosomes split. If we had that issue, they would have to go in and take our eggs/sperm, make them split normally, fertilize the egg, and then reinsert them. So basically IVF with a little extra editing before hand. Or at least that’s the gist of what I got from all of that complicated conversation. 

All I know is IVF is extremely expensive and can sometimes take awhile. The last thing I want is to delay starting my family more so I fear for if that’s the case. It also wouldn’t be ideal to have to go into debt to start a family since we’ve been so smart with money thus far.

We are now pretty much 50/50 between it being the genetic issue and the blood clotting issue. He said its most likely one of those two but, if everything comes back normal after running all the tests, then it could have just been really, really….really bad luck having the two miscarriages back to back and nothing might even be wrong at all. We are doing the testing for piece of mind and to try to get to the bottom of it.

We left without doing the blood work to run the tests that will look into both possibilities because they had to check on insurance first. So I was scheduled to come back in the 14th of December for the blood draw. The ended up taking around 20 tubes of blood (why they need that much, I have no clue, but it was horrible). Clayton will go in for his ONE VIAL of blood…..😒 on January 2nd. 

We’ll then go in again coming up on January 9th to see what the results are and where we will go from there. If everyone could remember to add us to your prayer lists, we would greatly appreciate y’all. We need all of them that we can get ❤❤❤ Here’s to hoping we will get our double rainbow baby quickly after the start of this new year! 

2 thoughts on “Where We Are Now…

  1. I just wanted to share with you that your journey so far sounds very similar to ours… I misscarried three times before we were referred to a specialist and they told us that it could possibly be the same three things just like you mentioned (uterus shape, hormones, and genetics) I remember telling my husband the day before we found out what our results were that I hoped it would be anything except genetics because we can’t change our genes… unfortunately for us it was genetics… I cried when I found out I was pregnant for the fourth time because I knew that there was a high probability that I would miscarry again… however we had several friends and family who were praying for us and for our baby and in May 2015 we were blessed with a healthy baby girl and not long after that we were blessed with a healthy baby boy this past August (we didn’t use IVF to conceive either of them)….. I tell you all of this to say, that I know what it’s like to lose a baby and I’m so sorry you had to lose your two babies… I wish that no one ever had to go through that nightmare…. but I also want you to know that there is hope and I pray that someday you will get to hold your own very precious rainbow baby

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It’s nice to know that you have such a successful story to tell after all your losses. It gives me hope for our family’s future for sure. Thank you for telling me about your story 💕

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